A Conditional Love

Love... Love... Love.

What a feeling...what a word...what a choice!!! Yeah, I said it. What a choice. There are so many opinions on the word and what it means. So many conflicting views that make it hard to believe there's a defined meaning. To me, it's just a word in which we as humans use to relay the ultimate endearment towards someone or something.

So just what is love? Is love a state of being or is it an emotion?

Love is regarded mostly as any of a number of emotions related to a sense of strong affection and attachment. The meaning of love simply touches basis on so many topics. So before you can know love, you must first understand it and where it comes from.
So to keep it simple, I'm going to keep this on the subject of the love between  two humans. And when I'm done, you want view love as you have.

Most folks don't understand that the strongest human trait is self preservation. It's the one thing embedded in our DNA code that can't be changed. It's directly tied into fear.
The reason we are curious by nature is not because we are eager to learn things that bring joy. It's because we want to be made aware of things that can harm us... it's why you proceed with "caution" doing things that new with you.

So when people tell you love is the strongest human emotion, tell them it isn't. Fear is the strongest human emotion.

Now you're probably wondering why I brought up fear when I initially started talking about love. Well to understand something, you have to know of it's origin. And it's my belief that love was derived from fear.

What???

Yes, love was birthed from fear. In order to love someone or something, there has to be a fear of losing them. For you see, love is nothing more than the appreciation of another person or thing being apart of  your life. It's as simple as that.

Think about this for a second. What's the first emotion or lesson we learn as young adolescents? Were you taught to love or were you taught to fear? See fear is the most simplest of all human emotions to grasp. You can give a cause and effect with two simple jesters.

For example: FIRE

Put a child hand over fire and they learn that it's hot and that extreme heat can cause pain. Children don't like pain(no one does). So they learn to fear it... self preservation in it's simplest form.

So, it's my opinion that love is a choice. One that we have been taught to believe is a uncontrollable emotion that just happens. Love isn't something that's embedded deep within our core. It isn't some special bond between a parent and a child that is a given to stand the test of time. It isn't some Divine emotion from a greater being.

Love is nothing more than a trait created by man to express one thing... appreciation.

We chose who we love when we decide who we will pay attention to and who we will appreciate for being in our lives. Sure some degrees are higher than others when we talk about "how" we love, but the choice in who we love is still a choice.

It's a choice that can be beneficial and it's a choice that can be self-serving. It's a choice that can bring great joy and it's a choice that can bring great pain.

Yet, still it is and forever will remain, a choice.

Control Your Faith

Hello world, or should I say FAMILY!!! Before we take another journey together(this blog). I need you to understand something about me, as to provide a better view of who I am. I am a child of reason and logic, that was raised on faith and spirituality... it is my strength and my joy(tears in my eyes). In my opinion, it's the best way to view life. It's also my father's greatest gift to me. And I would just like to take the time to thank him... Willard Theophilus Parks(greatest dude ever). Now let us proceed, my faithful observers.

Faith is a very strong human manner. It is a trait only shared on this planet by one species... as far as we humans know. It is a manner that man created out of a need to insure himself that whatever desires could be dreamed, would be achieved. Basically, it's the ability to display confidence in a conscious form... nothing more and nothing less. In my opinion. There are two forms of FAITH. The spiritual aspect and the logical aspect.

The SPIRITUAL ASPECT is directly tied into religion. People that walk with this faith, for the most part, believe in a supreme being that created all that is and will come to be. Most that don't understand what this means, usually think that people of a spiritual faith believe that what happens is what's meant to happen. They also believe that if they follow the teachings of their religious word, they will be rewarded as their GOD sees fit. Heck, even some of the religious folks that claim to have faith believe this to be the fruition of the word. Well it isn't... SMDH!!! Spiritual faith is some of both and none of neither. Huh??? I know, confusing. Just bare with me. Spiritual faith isn't about sitting on you behind and waiting for your life to be handed to you. We are creatures of free will. With every passing breath, we have the ability to either do or don't. Nothing and no one controls that aspect of your life but you. If your God wanted to live your life for you, he would've just deprived you of such a gift(choice).
Spiritual faith is the belief that everything will be alright because GOD will never give you more than you were meant to bear. That's it... nothing more and nothing less. If you do not understand this, if you do not believe in this... you cannot call yourself a person of spiritual faith.

There can be no logic and reason applied because, technically, the definition of those words go against everything that SPIRITUAL FAITH stands for.

The LOGICAL ASPECT is something that I derived from my own thinking and understanding of what it means to have fortitude(strength of mind that enables a person to encounter danger or bear pain or adversity with courage).
I call this aspect REASONABLE FAITH. It's basically an understanding that if you want your life to go in a certain direction, there are defined steps that must be taken. There can be no short cuts. One must accepts these steps as building blocks or better yet, a stairway to where they want to be in life. Each step taken builds the strength needed to endure whatever obstacles that may come about. There are no guarantees that what you want, will ever come to be. But isn't that the whole point of life??? Isn't that part of what makes it worth experiencing??? It's not about believing in FATE(destiny). But it is about showing FAITH(confidence).
Reasonable Faith gives understanding and strength that the likelihood of a goal or plateau being reach is greater than not, if a individual applies the proper effort needed to attain it. It's as simple as that.
This is because of one important teaching of understanding... CAUSE and EFFECT. Don't remember what this is, well you should. It's a part of human development. It's how you became who you are. It's a basic teaching of life, that goes as, "For every action. There is a reaction".
Examples: Put one foot in front of the other and you move ahead... that is your Faith. Engage in unprotected sex with multiple partners and end up with STD... that is your faith. Go to bed smoking a cigarette while you're half a' sleep and wake up with 3rd degree burns all over your body... this is your faith. It's as simple as that. Some people will be luckier than most, that just the law of averages taking place, not some Divine being picking and choosing who gets better treatment than the next. I don't believe GOD works that way(wouldn't be shocked if he did though... he was crazy enough to create us)(now watch the religious folks not understand the humor in the joke)(Geesh).

There is no need for spirituality or belief in a higher calling in order to walk with REASONABLE FAITH. It's a journey of thinking, planing and execution. It's a understanding that any "thing" isn't possible for every person but every "thing" that is", can be attained through planning, acting and enduring the hardships along the way. You just have to know your possibilities. And that doesn't mean you sale short the value of your being. It's more about understanding your place in life based on the steps you have taken thus far. Basically, you can't decide you want to be the President of the United States if you weren't thinking and planning since age 17. If you're 20 plus and haven't even been to college, it will never be your FATE to be president... I don't care how strong your FAITH is.

In conclusion, I want tell you what kind of FAITH to have. I will only ask that you have faith. It's needed to strengthen the mind... and the mind is needed to strength the body... and the body is needed to endure the struggles of the human spirit.
So instead of walking through life blindly, enjoying momentary happiness. Seek out your faith and take hold of it. But most importantly, control it. The power lies within you... I hope you embrace it, faithfully.

Be Aware...

What kind of person are you? We've all been asked this question at some point in our lives. Most of us tend to say one of two things... What we think people want to hear or what we want people to believe. I've learned that rarely do people actually answer that question honestly. Not because they want to lie, but more because, most of us don't really know who we are. And if we aren't aware of ourselves, how on Earth can we be aware of those in our everyday life.

I'm sure most of us can attest to thinking we know someone and end up having a situation turn-up, which changed our entire perspective of that person. Most of these situation usually revolve around relationships or money, never the less, that isn't what I want, you, to focus on. Let's just stick with the notion of being aware.
When I say be aware, I'm simply stating that one should be more in tune to the tendencies and subtle natures of those around us. Because, more often than not, it's the one's closest to us that hurt us the most. ]
That's partly due to folks putting such high regard in those individuals. Then factor in that those closest to us are in the best position to know our strengths, weaknesses, wants and fears. And last but probably the most important... we are a naive race. We almost always throw away the notion that those we love, wouldn't dare dream of hurting us. And it's thinking like that, which tends to cause folks a lot of unnecessary heart breaks.
You have to make judgement calls and learn to question things, that those you care for do and say. The way you feel about them, may not be a mutual feeling. They might not hold the some moral values that you do.
So if it means that you hurt someones feeling by asking them why they said something or why they did something. Then so be. To many folks take what others say at face value... when everything in their mind suggest that they do the opposite. So, do be aware of those around you. They might not be who you think they are.

Follow Your Heart

Most of us, at some point in our lives, have heard or been told to "follow your heart". Rarely, if ever, do the folks take the time to explain why. Needless to say, advise without a defined cause, isn't really advise. Just meaningless suggestions. Now this isn't to suggest that the phrase "follow your heart" isn't a good piece of advise... because it really is. I simply would like it if people explained why a person should, indeed, follow their heart.
Now for those that don't understand the term or have never heard it. It's basically a coined phrase that people imply when they want people to follow their deepest desired and wants in life... we all know, you can't "really" follow your heart... like, duh!!!
To me, it's simple why we would should follow our heart and chase our dreams. They are forms of happiness. And I don't know anyone that doesn't want to be happy. It just wouldn't be logical.

But following your heart doesn't mean you do what ever you want... now let that settle before you proceed.

Often what we want or desire isn't in our best interest, whether it be mentally or physically. See, the HEART pumps life through the body. It's sustains our every being. So if would be idiotic to think that following our heart would lead us to pain and hardships. Basically, following your heart should always lead you to something positive. You need only read the signs correctly... this is where understanding your situations come into play. People think that following your heart means you close your eyes and just make a decision. It's actually the opposite.

Following your heart means...
1. You take into account as many outcomes that are possible from a situation... you know, good ol', cause and effect!

2. You ask yourself, what you are willing to accept from a situation and what you aren't.

3. You think about, how would your decision effect the people you love whole-heartily... you can't be following your heart if you're gonna leave behind the folks you love. Now that isn't to suggest that the people you love will like or agree with your choices. It simply means you took into consideration how they would feel. But ultimately... it's your life. 

4. You never have any regret, you make your decision and you live with it. There's no need to reflect on decision of the heart. They are without falseness. They can't be corrected. They are what was needed for you, to grow into who you are... take pride in those choices.  

Following your heart won't always have the outcome that you see in the depths of your mind... no one's smart enough to see how the world around us will play out, exactly. It'll also have those you care for most, frown upon you at times... some will even walk out your life altogether. But when it's all said and done. Following your heart, will lead you to happiness. And at the end of the day, that's all we should ever want... ya dig!!!
Follow your heart, people!!!

Gotta Say Bye

We all know someone, if not ourselves, that tends to hold on to emotions, grudges, people and etc far longer than they should. Growing up, I was like that and for the longest time, I couldn't understand why. But as I grew as a person and gained confidence of where I stood in the world. I learned, I felt a lot better about myself and the situations that made me who I was(am) the quicker I addressed them. Basically... I simply learned to say bye. I had to if I wanted to be happy. I said bye to things and people that made me feel good and those that made me fell bad. I said bye to situations of stress. Bye to people to the and things that tried to tear me down, instead of building me up.

Well some would ask, how did I do this. Did I go to some form of counseling? Did I learn from someone Else's mistakes? Did I hear a voice from some higher calling? No... No... and No.
I simply made a conscious decision that I wanted to be happy. Simple as that. I said to myself:

"You deserve better than what you're allowing to happen".

And it wasn't anything special about me that allowed me to say and then do what was needed. We all have that inner strength and determination. It's just some of us ignore it and others embrace it for what it is, man's greatest gift, the gift of determination. You gotta be willing to accept that you can't allow yourself to be unhappy just to keep face with other people... it's not what you were created for. We are creatures of habits. The more you do something, the more you actually believe it's what is suppose to be.
You have to brake the cycle if it is bettering your life... you just gotta say bye.
Don't be afraid of who you will hurt, what you will lose and how you will be after it. Point blank, if it isn't working out, there's no sense at holding on to it. Things and people seldom change... that's the reason we have so many options of what can be in this vast world of ours.

Look, the possibilities of what our lives can be, is all the reason one needs to not hold on to things that don't help us push forward in a positive manner of life. We all may not be meant for greatness... but we all are deserving of joy and happiness. So I beg you, say good bye to what hurts you, derails you, burdens you... it isn't worth a lifetime of misery. Pack what you must pack, ask what you must know, kiss what you must kiss and love what you deem deserving... but when you're done, remember, gotta say bye!!!

Enjoy Your Journey

Everyone knows that we only get one crack at life. Yet so many of us reveal in the possibilities of could have been, instead of enjoying what was. In my 30 years of living, I to have had my struggles with such a notion... who amongst us hasn't? But I learned early on in life that people who chose to enjoy what their life is, tend to be a whole lot happier than those that don't.

This isn't to suggest that we accept failures or that we give up on things we find as difficult. It's more of understanding the fact that we don't control the things in our everyday life, 100%.

Sure we all have some say on what is and isn't but regardless of your powers of persuasion and whatever talents, knowledge, and influence you may have about your environment... sometimes, things just don't go according to how we would want them. This isn't a planet inhabited by just ONE individual... I don't care how big a ego a person has. Life just doesn't work that way.

As an individual, you have to take stock that all that truly matters is how you feel about whatever decision you've made in life. Sure it's nice or the morally correct thing to take in the considerations of how your fellow man is affected by your daily decisions. However, never should it reach the point where you fell as though you want to tear your hair out over.

Now that doesn't mean that we should all go out and do what we want to do. I'm basically saying, do whats best for you.

Most people say that life is short but I beg to differ. On the contrary, life can be long, especially when we make foolish decisions that put us in dire or stressful positions. For example, if you have a job that requires you to be to work at 7am, you're not going to the club because you've had a long day and simply want to relieve some stress. Why would you do that... it isn't a logical thought. You're simply gonna be a individual lacking rest, which may hamper your performance, which may cause your superior to reprimand you... thus starting the whole cycle over again. Basically, you don't take one step forward just to take two steps backwards. As a person, you have to be able to enjoy yourself without outside assistance. Learn how to love being you in all it's innocence.

Just remember that everything has an end. Life, love, pain, sorrow, joy, stressfulness, bliss and so and so... it all has a end point. Only thing you need to be aware of, is, simply enjoying your journey. Take everything as it is and be cautious as to not making things out to be more than they really are. Until next time... smile... it really could be worse than it is!!!